Dude, Seriously! I'm bored!

Misquote of the day:

"The war between being and nothingness is the

underlying illness of the twentieth century.

Boredom slays more of existence than war."

-Jerome Jonas "the lost Jonas Brother," July 1991

(following the arrest of Paul Reubens)

I think there is no phrase that I hate more than the phrase "I'm bored."

The phrase itself can be completely harmless. Most instances of "I'm bored" only lead to an A.D.D. dance-off between you and your beloved electronics. But sooner or later you get tired of using your bluetooth remote to control your iPod, your iPad, and your iConventional Toaster Oven. Then, it's back to being bored.

Side Note: The new iConventional Toaster Ovens are only worth buying if you get the Leopard X operating system, and don't even think about getting the toaster that Microsoft makes. The damn thing still runs on Vista and that's just a whole lot of unnecessary frustration.

Then there is the darker side to "I'm bored."

In a post-Jackass world, the result of proclaiming this phrase can lead to things such as bicycle jousting, rollerblade jousting, and the successful comedy career of Carlos Mencia. Even though I may enjoy a good recreational joust from time to time, Carlos Mencia never should have happened.

I will never understand why the phrase "I'm bored" makes some people feel like it's a contractual obligation to do the next dumb idea that is put on the table. It's really not hard to assert yourself and resist the urge to break your femur. For example:

Dude: Guy!!! I have an idea.

Guy: What's that?

Dude: Let's make a pit.

Guy: Who we gonna put in it?

Dude: No man, we're gonna put sand in it.

Guy: How big of a pit?

Dude: Well big enough for two people to fight in.

Guy: WHAT!?!?

Dude: Okay, four people to fight in.

Guy: Dude, Seriously? Just...no.

......fast forward thirty minutes later into this same conversation....

Dude: Look man, it's not assault if everyone agrees to it.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure boredom has led to some amazing ideas. I don't doubt the fact that some dude seriously got bored and ended up composing a symphony, painting a masterpiece, or creating Youtube (or at least one of it's hilarious spin-off websites, heh heh heh, TightyWhiteyTube).

But my point, America, is sometimes a little good ol' wholesome boredom is what you need to get the blood completely stagnant.

Must we always be entertained? Can't we just freakin' sit down at the beach and be content with the......well.......you know......the water and stuff....

You know, I was going to make a very profound point here, but now I'm just really bored with all of this. I need something else to distract me.

Dude, seriously, why do you think I started this blog? I get bored, so I blog, then I get bored with all the bloggin' and...whatever, don't judge me.

Well America, I've got better things to do with my time than just sit around and be bored. I've got a pit to build.

This is a photo of Honduran-born Ned Holness doing stand-up comedy earlier in his career before he took the name Carlos Mencia and began posing as a Mexican. He's been a poser ever since.